Wow, getting back to work after being on vacation really stinks. Everyone just jumped on me this morning and I literally had to take a few breaks to walk away and just breathe! But let's digress to the past weekend...
I went out to the Harley Davidson 105th Anniversary celebration in Milwaukee and had a great time. A quick summary: There were thousands of bikes there and it was like a mini state fair type setting on the Summerfest grounds so lots of good, greasy bad food. Although we did manage to find some upper scale restaurants near the grounds that had good food at a price :) The free stage concerts had some big names. Dierks Bentley, ZZ Top, Peter Frampton, Joan Jett, Amanda Obermeyer.....We stopped to listen to Foghat one night. (Wow....not my thing at all...did they really have a song talking about some girl "looking fine in your sweater and tight skirt...ooo" can we say....gag me! lol) and Saturday night was Daughtry (which was awesome! and I hope in 20 years I can still admit it). Ed managed to keep the secret from me that he bought tickets for us to get into the Six Flags park on Sunday and that was a blast! I'm a rollercoaster junkie so we tried to hit every one. Unfortunately the Batman wasn't running that day but the consensus was that Raging Bull was the best. My throat was uber sore from screaming my way through that one!
I managed to get in a few runs while out there. We actually stayed in a town just over the Illinois border. When we first got there I surveyed the area for where I could run......which lead me to quickly ask myself the question.....am I a spoiled pedestrian? I am so used to sidewalks, paths, bike routes in every direction that I was beyond floored that to get to the only trail I could find. only 3 miles away, I had to have Ed drive me there because there is truly no way to walk there. Even though it's through a main part of town with lots of shopping, there was no sidewalk! Maybe it's hard to explain unless you were there but I just couldn't believe the lack of pedestrian support around there....
The trail I did run on though was gorgeous and mostly through the woods and open park fields. Very nice. My first run was for 6 miles and about a mile in my shin splints flared up. I freaked, this is a BAD time in the season to be dealing with that! So I ended up doing more of a run/walk combo to keep from damaging my legs. Saturday morning was my super lonely 17 miler. There was a lot of mountain bikers on the trails and also horse back riders. That was a first, never had to pass a walking horse before :) It was a hot, humid morning and I didn't get started until 11am. Everything just went wrong. What I didn't know is about 5 miles down the trail, it opened up to full sun and there was no breeze. So between miles 5-12, I was toasting. Unfortunately I didn't see anywhere to refill my water bottles so my two small bottles were empty by mile 10 and I knew I was in trouble from that. Right around mile 15, I was shuffling pretty slowly and had to begin walking to bring my heart rate down. I started to get frustrated and my throat started to close up on me. I let my emotions get the better of me so those last 3 miles were mostly walking. My long distance confidence went right out the window. I'm trying not to be disappointed in myself too much since the conditions were bad and 16oz of water is obviously not enough to keep my body running smoothly.
Now that I'm back at home I'm trying to mentally get back in the game with work, training, personal stuff.....it all was very overwhelming this morning. I didn't get in my run today and I'm even not looking forward to getting up to swim tomorrow. Mostly because I just don't want to have to get out of bed and also because I haven't swam for 3 weeks now so I expect to thoroughly suck.
I was catching up on reading my friends blogs and to be perfectly honest, I nearly started hyperventilating thinking about signing up for the Ironman next year. After reading Ms. R and Captain Cartwheels journeys through training, I just don't know how I can do it. I mean, c'mon....I can't even make enough time and hold enough mental concentration to follow a simple marathon schedule. What am I getting myself into? Can I get my life in line enough to enjoy training next summer and not have it suck all the life out of me? I have been so A.D.D lately that I am constantly changing my direction, interests, possibilities for future work. Will I end up having to travel for work at the peak of the season next year in mid-August? How will I training if I have to travel for work? They give us no free time and the damn hotel fitness area is never open early enough or late enough. Can I really sign up for something like this? Can I physically, mentally, emotionally handle anymore than I am right now?
My head is in a whirlwind if you can't tell. Another big problem I have is with my future career. I've had it in my head that I wanted to study for personal training but I just haven't been interested in that lately. I haven't studied seriously since early summer and now can't decide what to do about it. I also have been toying with some invention ideas that I want to give more attention time to. Whenever something new crosses my path as an opportunity for what I would consider a better job/career, I mentally change direction and second guess what I should be doing. I don't just dedicate myself to pursuing one thing at a time, I start looking into one thing, then find another, look at that for awhile, then find something else. I'm disappointing myself by never actually reaching any goals or making any "accomplishments". Does that mean none of them are the right thing for me yet? Or am I one of those people who is destined to be a "big talker" with no action. I think I just have myself piled in so many possible directions, that I'm sitting completely still not doing any of them. I may have to start a new search for a good therapist pre-Ironman as Captain Cartwheel suggested :)
2 comments:
It can be hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes and training for a marathon can be the same way. So your long run didn't go the way you wanted it to. Not every run will. The main thing is though, you did the miles, and under adverse conditions to boot! You'll come out the other side stronger for it. Besides, you don't want to peak right now anyway, you still have 5 more weeks until you want that to happen.
Just keep pluggin' away (at everything, not just running) and you just might surprise yourself. :)
RE: Ironman - Here's my advice: On Sunday, get up and head to the race site. My guess is within moments of getting there (okay maybe not for the swim but definitely near the transition area) you will feel this amazing energy. And you'll know whether this race is for you or not. I knew and during the hellish moments of the season I held onto that one single feeling that I got standing over the IM transition site. If you don't feel it when you're there then you may want to think further. Don't do it because other people want you too. On race day it's your body and your mind carrying you. I know you can do it - but that said it's not for everyone. And there is nothing wrong with that.
RE: Timing. Timing is everything. You'll know when it's the right project to pursue b/c your heart will tell you. You can't force yourself to do something you don't really want to do - when you try to stand still and feel bad about yourself (at least I do). So forgive yourself and keep looking.
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